of the essence
money
a flat circle
free
....
It's something we spend so, so much time thinking about. What is the fastest way to get there? Will it be ready in time? Will we have to wait? Will we make the deadline? Whether it's planning our route home, thinking through our weekend, scheduling back to back to back to back meetings, or detailing out every moment of the next 365 days, we all function by measure of time, and we all fall victim to the constraints of it.
More and more, we feel the pressures of efficiency, and the growing impatience with things that should take less time than they currently do. Long lines, traffic jams, waiting for coffee, or food delivery, or well, waiting at all seems to guarantee fits of madness. Prime delivery is 2 days, 1 day, even offering 1-2 hours in some cities. Why? Because we've all decided that our time is too important.
And it is. Time is really important. You cannot get any more- it is a finite resource. But isn't that quite a luxury, to think that time is our problem? It isn't that I don't understand organic chemistry, it's that I don't have enough hours to properly learn it before the test. It isn't that I can't create the app, it's that I don't have time to code it myself, or train myself to code it. It isn't that I can't cook, it's that I don't have time to prepare the meal. We credit ourselves with unlimited opportunities, knowing the constraint isn't a real constraint, just an allocation of time.
There aren't enough hours in the day. That's a beautiful, omnipresent first world problem. That's saying, I am capable, I have no barriers, I'm just busy. It's a luxury. It's also stressful.
What are we rushing towards? What is the ultimate reward for completing more tasks in a single day? That we are "accomplished"? Often, it's that we're rewarded with more work.
Coming to Panama at first drove me mad. I created a project plan, I know what needs to be completed each week for the next few months, then within that, what are my goals for each week, what sort of meetings need to support those, what kind of effort supports system configuration along with that... and after piecing it all together, I thought, wow, this is a lot, but we can do it. Go!
And then the world didn't. The traffic was unpredictable and horrendous. Key personnel would show up for a meeting an hour or more late. The internet had a mind of its own, and went out more often then not.
So my plan? Configuration, in system, 2-4. No chance- no internet. Okay, let's sub something! Let's discuss the details on X. Nope, so & so is still stuck in traffic. What about drafting the process for Z? So & so knows it better, and we're out of markers. Almost every element went out the window. The country in its entirety laughed at my optimism.
We would go to work, struggle with internet, wait through traffic, and come home. Dinner, when we were still in hotels, would take hours. Literally, hours. I remember one night thinking okay, I'm done wasting time on dinner, I need to get work done tonight. I'll grab subway for tonight and tomorrow. 35 minutes after my order was processed, I received a sandwich. I have no idea how it was possible to take that long, only that in Panama, absolutely everything that can take time, WILL take time.
I've spent a lot of time waiting. In cabs in traffic, in the office without internet, in lines just standing. And honestly, I think I'm the better for it. I am not the most patient person. I will hang up just as soon as someone hints at a good bye, and I even obnoxiously finish people's sentences to get to the point. But waiting, spending time doing nothing more than thinking, has been pretty healthy.
I've lost the illusion of
control. I know I can't predict much about my day, and every meeting, milestone and event has contingency. I still plan ahead to make the most of my time, but it has become much more general. More flexible. Less detailed. Rather than thinking through my life in advance, and stressing out when it doesn't follow along, I'm sketching an outline and coloring in as I go.
money
a flat circle
free
....
 |
| Time is... passing! |
It's something we spend so, so much time thinking about. What is the fastest way to get there? Will it be ready in time? Will we have to wait? Will we make the deadline? Whether it's planning our route home, thinking through our weekend, scheduling back to back to back to back meetings, or detailing out every moment of the next 365 days, we all function by measure of time, and we all fall victim to the constraints of it.
More and more, we feel the pressures of efficiency, and the growing impatience with things that should take less time than they currently do. Long lines, traffic jams, waiting for coffee, or food delivery, or well, waiting at all seems to guarantee fits of madness. Prime delivery is 2 days, 1 day, even offering 1-2 hours in some cities. Why? Because we've all decided that our time is too important.
And it is. Time is really important. You cannot get any more- it is a finite resource. But isn't that quite a luxury, to think that time is our problem? It isn't that I don't understand organic chemistry, it's that I don't have enough hours to properly learn it before the test. It isn't that I can't create the app, it's that I don't have time to code it myself, or train myself to code it. It isn't that I can't cook, it's that I don't have time to prepare the meal. We credit ourselves with unlimited opportunities, knowing the constraint isn't a real constraint, just an allocation of time.
 |
| One of the "Diablo Rojo"s that roam the chaotic streets of Panama |
What are we rushing towards? What is the ultimate reward for completing more tasks in a single day? That we are "accomplished"? Often, it's that we're rewarded with more work.
Coming to Panama at first drove me mad. I created a project plan, I know what needs to be completed each week for the next few months, then within that, what are my goals for each week, what sort of meetings need to support those, what kind of effort supports system configuration along with that... and after piecing it all together, I thought, wow, this is a lot, but we can do it. Go!
And then the world didn't. The traffic was unpredictable and horrendous. Key personnel would show up for a meeting an hour or more late. The internet had a mind of its own, and went out more often then not.
So my plan? Configuration, in system, 2-4. No chance- no internet. Okay, let's sub something! Let's discuss the details on X. Nope, so & so is still stuck in traffic. What about drafting the process for Z? So & so knows it better, and we're out of markers. Almost every element went out the window. The country in its entirety laughed at my optimism.
We would go to work, struggle with internet, wait through traffic, and come home. Dinner, when we were still in hotels, would take hours. Literally, hours. I remember one night thinking okay, I'm done wasting time on dinner, I need to get work done tonight. I'll grab subway for tonight and tomorrow. 35 minutes after my order was processed, I received a sandwich. I have no idea how it was possible to take that long, only that in Panama, absolutely everything that can take time, WILL take time.
 |
| Another poor soul who previously had the illusion of control |
I've lost the illusion of
control. I know I can't predict much about my day, and every meeting, milestone and event has contingency. I still plan ahead to make the most of my time, but it has become much more general. More flexible. Less detailed. Rather than thinking through my life in advance, and stressing out when it doesn't follow along, I'm sketching an outline and coloring in as I go.
Love this (especially the last line)! Glad you're writing and loving your travels, globetrotting sister!
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