As soon as I started writing a reminiscence, I could feel the clichés. Friendships made abroad, changed outlook on life, memories and longings and connections that can't fully translate- to words, to explanations, to the States in general.
But if they are clichés, then so be it. Maybe that's where clichés come from- the experiences so foreign, so intangible that no real explanation will do them justice, and we force them into these boxes and phrases, force them into familiarity. We recognize a piece of what we felt, a piece of what we experienced, and tie it down to a theme or image that others may also recognize. Or maybe clichés are just overused bits of language and I'm creatively frustrated. Y'all can decide.
At the end of our term, last June, we ventured off into the Amazon, rushed through some "finals" and then careened back into the states to start a marathon of different events- internship, rugby season, SENIOR YEAR- life at full speed. Straight from the jeito brasiliero, the ignorance of time, we were thrust back into deadlines and responsibilities, a nasty Gantt chart of a lifestyle with no Havianas allowed. It has been chaos. Happy, happy chaos. But through it all, I had yet to fully reflect upon the conclusion of my time in Brazil and the transition back into life as I had previously known it.
I guess that's part of it. Life as I had previously known it.
My experiences in Salvador pushed my comfort zone, scared me to tears, thrilled me, enlightened me- inspired a whole spectrum of emotions with a culture, place, and idea that had been so foreign to me previously. That emotional aspect, I think, is what really transcended the experience.
Brazil wasn't about having crazy stories about the riots or parties, pictures of exotic places and creatures, or even weeks of island hopping- although I certainly would appreciate some of that now, amid an unkind Midwest winter. It was the connections made in those moments. The friendships forged out of our vulnerabilities, our fears, our fierce curiosity and passion for living, rather than just existing.
These friendships have challenged me on a few major fronts, some of which I've already blogged about:
PURPOSE:
In the most beautiful and serene of settings, I was not at peace. In the happiest and most inspiring places, I was not content. I realized that it wasn't just about getting there, being there. It was about doing something myself. Making some kind of difference, making some kind of impact.
I've never been good at watching sports, or even TV for that matter, because it bothers me that I can't influence the outcome, can't play myself. My purpose is not to sit on the sidelines. I may not be the most talented player, the most strategic, or even the most dedicated- but I will play my role, and somehow influence the scoreboard. My purpose is not to sit on the sidelines- and I refuse to.
Through relaxing in Brazil, taking a time-out from productivity on many fronts, I began to go insane.
What was I doing, day to day, that could make a difference? What was I doing, day to day, to lay a foundation for some future difference?
The purpose of my relaxation was, I suppose, to identify the purpose in my life. To acknowledge that drive within me, and begin to do something about it.
I still have an unyielding desire to travel. To explore, to have adventures, to get to know more about the world, the people and cultures within it, and finding my role within that. To do what I'm afraid to do, and break that bound. But that's not my ultimate purpose, just a piece of the achievement. And so, I wander on...
JEITO:
Jeito is literally the "way", the way you live your life, the manner in which things are done. On this front, I have an incredible respect for the jeito brasileiro, or more specifically, the jeito baiano, the patience and understanding that time is often beyond our own control, that many things are often beyond our control. Fighting against these truths can create unnecessary stress and frustration.
Keeping a healthy mindset about the jeito in which we live our lives can create checks and balances, keep our priorities straight. Knowing when to accept something, and adjust your actions accordingly, choosing which battles are worth fighting.
Despite my competitive nature, one of the biggest takeaways from Brazil was that it often isn't about winning. (Shocker!) Whether it was cleaning the kitchen when it was clearly my host brother's mess, biting my tongue when I disagreed with someone on the street, or just accepting a vendor's price when I knew he was upcharging me as a tourist, there was a certain calm with these "losses". The expense to myself, monetary or in time, was so minimal, yet there could be so much to gain.
Stepping back, assuming fault upon myself, or seeing the purpose behind the other side, allowed me to ask more questions, gain a fuller
image and perspective. The curiosity this aroused, and knowledge it uncovered, in turn has made more of an impact on my perspective than any "win" could have.
PASSION:
"Be who you are, and be that well." For any of my high school classmates, this Salesian quote may be all too familiar. It was our motto throughout Visitation, and I'm about ready to proclaim it as my own.
There are a million trillion ways to spend even the next moment of your life, conservatively. A million trillion different actions, thoughts, patterns, and attitudes, many of which you have the power to control. Whatever the combination ends up being, make sure it includes passion. Conviction to purpose, energy throughout.
One of the most exciting things I've been able to experience is simply to engage with someone who is passionate about their life. A few socialists in Brazil, a lawyer, one of my teachers... they held different viewpoints, but each were fiercely committed to their beliefs. A few were comically wrong in their convictions, but all the same that assertion had me energized and inspired just to find something, anything, about which I could be so certain.
My current passion seems to be correcting people's grammar, so please endure that while I search for another.
Purpose, Jeito, and Passion. Three overarching generalizations, lessons and preaching that I have no right to assert. Idealisms, reflections, inspiration. It is the acknowledgment of their importance, rather than their achievement, that has changed me, as I am still shy of achieving them.
It is the combination of these principles that differentiates today from life as I had previously known it.
Is that what a cliché does?
But if they are clichés, then so be it. Maybe that's where clichés come from- the experiences so foreign, so intangible that no real explanation will do them justice, and we force them into these boxes and phrases, force them into familiarity. We recognize a piece of what we felt, a piece of what we experienced, and tie it down to a theme or image that others may also recognize. Or maybe clichés are just overused bits of language and I'm creatively frustrated. Y'all can decide.
At the end of our term, last June, we ventured off into the Amazon, rushed through some "finals" and then careened back into the states to start a marathon of different events- internship, rugby season, SENIOR YEAR- life at full speed. Straight from the jeito brasiliero, the ignorance of time, we were thrust back into deadlines and responsibilities, a nasty Gantt chart of a lifestyle with no Havianas allowed. It has been chaos. Happy, happy chaos. But through it all, I had yet to fully reflect upon the conclusion of my time in Brazil and the transition back into life as I had previously known it.
I guess that's part of it. Life as I had previously known it.
My experiences in Salvador pushed my comfort zone, scared me to tears, thrilled me, enlightened me- inspired a whole spectrum of emotions with a culture, place, and idea that had been so foreign to me previously. That emotional aspect, I think, is what really transcended the experience.
Brazil wasn't about having crazy stories about the riots or parties, pictures of exotic places and creatures, or even weeks of island hopping- although I certainly would appreciate some of that now, amid an unkind Midwest winter. It was the connections made in those moments. The friendships forged out of our vulnerabilities, our fears, our fierce curiosity and passion for living, rather than just existing.
These friendships have challenged me on a few major fronts, some of which I've already blogged about:
PURPOSE:
In the most beautiful and serene of settings, I was not at peace. In the happiest and most inspiring places, I was not content. I realized that it wasn't just about getting there, being there. It was about doing something myself. Making some kind of difference, making some kind of impact.
I've never been good at watching sports, or even TV for that matter, because it bothers me that I can't influence the outcome, can't play myself. My purpose is not to sit on the sidelines. I may not be the most talented player, the most strategic, or even the most dedicated- but I will play my role, and somehow influence the scoreboard. My purpose is not to sit on the sidelines- and I refuse to.
Through relaxing in Brazil, taking a time-out from productivity on many fronts, I began to go insane.
What was I doing, day to day, that could make a difference? What was I doing, day to day, to lay a foundation for some future difference?
The purpose of my relaxation was, I suppose, to identify the purpose in my life. To acknowledge that drive within me, and begin to do something about it.
I still have an unyielding desire to travel. To explore, to have adventures, to get to know more about the world, the people and cultures within it, and finding my role within that. To do what I'm afraid to do, and break that bound. But that's not my ultimate purpose, just a piece of the achievement. And so, I wander on...
JEITO:
Jeito is literally the "way", the way you live your life, the manner in which things are done. On this front, I have an incredible respect for the jeito brasileiro, or more specifically, the jeito baiano, the patience and understanding that time is often beyond our own control, that many things are often beyond our control. Fighting against these truths can create unnecessary stress and frustration.
Keeping a healthy mindset about the jeito in which we live our lives can create checks and balances, keep our priorities straight. Knowing when to accept something, and adjust your actions accordingly, choosing which battles are worth fighting.
Stepping back, assuming fault upon myself, or seeing the purpose behind the other side, allowed me to ask more questions, gain a fuller
image and perspective. The curiosity this aroused, and knowledge it uncovered, in turn has made more of an impact on my perspective than any "win" could have.
PASSION:
There are a million trillion ways to spend even the next moment of your life, conservatively. A million trillion different actions, thoughts, patterns, and attitudes, many of which you have the power to control. Whatever the combination ends up being, make sure it includes passion. Conviction to purpose, energy throughout.
One of the most exciting things I've been able to experience is simply to engage with someone who is passionate about their life. A few socialists in Brazil, a lawyer, one of my teachers... they held different viewpoints, but each were fiercely committed to their beliefs. A few were comically wrong in their convictions, but all the same that assertion had me energized and inspired just to find something, anything, about which I could be so certain.
My current passion seems to be correcting people's grammar, so please endure that while I search for another.
Purpose, Jeito, and Passion. Three overarching generalizations, lessons and preaching that I have no right to assert. Idealisms, reflections, inspiration. It is the acknowledgment of their importance, rather than their achievement, that has changed me, as I am still shy of achieving them.
It is the combination of these principles that differentiates today from life as I had previously known it.
Is that what a cliché does?
Well written, as always! Still doesn't ease my concern for travel to danger-filled Thailand ! Please influence the world by publishing your phenomenal writing from Pittsburgh!!!:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Liam Neeson :)
ReplyDelete